53 Goodbye Twydall Juniors

July 1966: England were through to the World Cup quarter finals, the Kinks were top of the pops, Batman was on the telly and William ‘Bimbo’ Hollands was in trouble at school.


The teacher on playground duty – Mrs Illingworth (formerly Miss Tapsell) – had just passed a group of us when an overheard ‘bloody,’ made her stop dead and spin around.

 ‘Was that William Hollands I just heard swearing?’

‘Yes Miss,’ we replied as one, pinning the blame where it belonged as our panic stricken friend fled around the corner.

Good old Bimbo. He didn’t get in trouble often but he had his moments. Talking in line had earned him the slipper from Mister Campion, and talking in class earned him a caning from Mister Turner. Other misdemeanours included flicking salt in Stephen Fellows’s eye, punching Linda Varnum in the face, and giving Lynne Hopkins a poke where a girl should not be poked, even in retaliation. Quite a bad charge sheet for a policeman’s son.

~

Neither I nor my classmates were particularly fashion conscious. At sometime or other Paul Parker and Clive Ward wore balaclavas, Kim Erswell a rust coloured jumper and Kevin a blue anorak. Stephen Browning’s two tone raincoat was quite impressive but Stephen Fellows was three steps ahead of us all. Not many eleven year olds wore a pink shirt and Cuban heeled boots but Stephen did and he carried the look well, as befitting of his advanced development. Nigel Robinson was another that stood out from the rest. Nigel was worldlier than most; certainly worldlier than me and I was curious when I spotted the sly V sign he flicked at someone from under the dinner table.

‘What does that mean?’

‘Oh nothing,’ he said, but a little smirk suggested otherwise. 

I didn’t push it any further. If Nigel wasn’t for telling then he wasn’t for telling. I wasn’t that bothered anyway. Just a bit bemused, as I’d been when he started romancing third year Glynis McLaren, and Paul Parker started romancing Glynis’s friend Julia Petch. Nigel had a dalliance with Geraldine Davis too, a girl in our class, which earned them a dishonourable mention in a naughty rendition of On Top of Old Smokey.



Nigel was at it again in our final days at Twydall. Everyone was invited to a mock marriage service between him and Lorna Whitfield which was set to take place in the bin corner one afternoon. The happy couple were willing participants in the lark, but when Miss Rusted got wind of it she was not amused and nipped the idea in the bud.

Another person who took a shine to Lorna was Paul Aitkin, we learned from an incident witnessed when leaving school one day. Paul had Lorna pinned down on the grass and was snogging her in full view of everyone. Lucky for them Miss Rusted wasn’t around.

I had an encounter with a girl too, on Romany Road during the mass exodus at home time. How I came to be kicked on the shin by the girl, a third year, I don’t recall but claiming it ‘didn’t hurt’ and letting her have another go wasn’t the smartest thing I ever did. And I wasn’t done there. Twice more I denied the pain and twice more the evil cow kicked me again, as bravado and stupidity conspired to leave me fighting back tears and hobbling in agony.

~

The last week

Our class, and probably all the other fourth year classes, were taken out a dozen at a time in the school’s newly acquired mini bus; so us fourth years could have a ride before we left, I presume. They needn’t have bothered, as on a wet afternoon at Farthing Corner there was nothing for us to do but get out and watch the drizzle from under shelter for a few minutes, and then return to school. 

 ~

Some free standing bookshelves appeared in the corridors of the main school block, displaying projects made by members of 4/1. Paul Wastell’s ‘Forgotten Battles of American History,’ demanded my attention, but a quick browse left me shaking my head. Paul’s work was impressive but he'd chosen a ridiculous title for a work that included the Alamo and Gettysburg.


In four years I never once set foot in the garden in the quadrangle. Half the time we wouldn’t have known it was there as the condensation in the corridors was so bad that for months on end all we saw was steamed up windows.


~

Clive Ward must have been worldlier than me too. The punch line to a joke about a farmer gifting a son some land was ‘here’s two acres to begin with,’ upon which Clive backhanded me between the legs. The ache part of the joke was instantly clear but the significance of the two escaped me.

When Clive told us he was playing for a team called The Greenfliers in a seven a side football final, I was surprised and disappointed. My interest in football had grown with the World Cup and I’d have loved to have been involved. But Clive’s event had passed me by, and most of my classmates, it seemed, as Clive was the only 4/2 participant in a game dominated by the boys of 4/1. Finding out Clive was playing in goal was another surprise. Clive was one of the smaller boys in our year and nobody’s idea of a goalkeeper, which backed up a sneaky suspicion that they’d bunged him in goal as a last resort. Whatever, when goal posts appeared on the field that afternoon a few of us stayed on after school to give Clive our support. Alas, in a closely fought match of short duration the Greenfliers lost 1-0 to a long range shot that sailed over Clive’s outstretched arms.

‘Gerard has a flair for this subject’ Miss Rusted wrote in my school report. Getting an A in Art wasn’t out of the ordinary but a flair, whatever it was, was something new. How proud I was when my mother explained.

The last day

Everyone signed each others autograph books, most of them being the little sixpenny ones with the pastel coloured pages bought from Woolworth’s. Then the race was on to collect as many teachers’ autographs as we could, starting with Miss Rusted.


What did the S stand for we wondered?

For Class 4/2 much of the day was spent playing games in our classroom. Chinese Whispers was a game I didn’t understand, at first, but once we’d lined up and a whispered message had been passed down the line it was fun to hear the how the original message finished up. Another game required us to push the desks and tables back to leave a big space in the middle of the classroom. Then Miss Rusted gave each of us the name of a place in Kent.

‘Sheerness!’ she then shouted, as she spun a plate on the floor.

Whoever Sheerness was had to spring forward and grab the plate before it stopped spinning. Then spin the plate for the next person as Miss Rusted called out another random name.

Great fun but as the minutes ticked by, the game became increasingly frustrating for the likes me, who had yet to be involved while others were getting chosen for a second time.

‘I’ve not had a turn yet… I’m Queenborough,’ I lamented to the kid next to me, in a voice loud enough for our teacher to hear.

‘Queenborough!’

Whoosh! Good old Miss Rusted!



I don’t recall if there was a morning assembly on our last day, but I know we fourth years attended a special assembly in the afternoon, as we lined up near the front of the hall instead of our customary position at the back, under the watchful eye of Her Majesty. With the sun streaming through the windows we sang Lord Dismiss us with Thy Blessing for the last time, after which I shared a moment of reflection with Miss Rusted.

‘It’s funny; it’s taken us four years to be the big kids here. And now…’

‘Yes, you’ll be starting all over again.’

All good things come to an end. For all the difficulties I’d experienced in the early days, I left Twydall Junior School with many happy memories. And so Class 4/2 fractured and splintered forever. Goodbye Miss Rusted. Goodbye friends. 



Class 4/2 1965-1966

Akehurst, Andrew
Anderton, Peter
Bateman, Linda
Barnes, Linda
Browning, Stephen
Clifford, Colin
Cross, Ronald
Croxon, Elaine
Davis, Geraldine
Deaville, Graham
Erswell, Kim
Fellows, Stephen
Field, Marion
Gardner, Anthony
Garlick, Kevin
Golding, Gillian
Greenland, John
Heath, Lavinia
Hollands, William
Hopkins, Lynne
Kilpatrick, Anne
MacGregor, Janice
Nunn, Graham
Oakenfull, Diane
Parker, Paul
Redgrave, Lorraine
Robinson, Nigel
Slociak, Angela
Stammer, Brian
Stephens, Peter
Varnum, Linda
Ward, Clive
Webb, Linda
Whitfield, Lorna


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